Ms May

My 4 year old is 15 I swear! I can tell you from the bottom of my heart I never want to have another little girl!! I have enough with Ellie. To be very honest I am scared sh**less about her growing up! Not because I think I'm doing a horrible job raising her but because this world can be a cruel place. She is a strong willed very loving 4 year old queen. My daily struggle currently with her is that as she's getting older she comes home and everything is "well at my daddies house" co parenting can be so hard! Parents with split households what do you guys do when all you hear is well at the other #parents house?! Suggestions! Help! Ive started to tell her "well right now we are at mommies house and we are going to follow these rules" of course I pick up the phone when the time is correct and try and get on the same page with the other parent but that just doesn't work at times. I always inform her why we are enforcing rules and why they are necessary. She is such a curious little one and wants to be in the loop of it all but you know she also entertains her. At times she will take her tablet and go sit on her bed and not bother anyone and not want to be bothered, when she does these things I feel like I have a teenager! Now my biggest struggle has been that I was first a mom to a child with a disability than I was to a child without one and I don't care how that came off to anyone if you have a child with a disability you know exactly what I mean! With that being said I had to learn how to be a different kind of parent and I didn't realize this until recently as she's growing up I have to stop telling her to just sit in the tub and having me bathe her but actually teaching her how to do it herself. Thats just one example, there is so many little things that Jordan just can't do that I have to assist with that with Ellie she just needs to be taught how to do it and she is fully capable and learns. Sometimes I feel like I'm failing her because after some doctor days with Jordan I'm so drained so emotionally done and than there's Ellie full of life ready to go. Its very very hard, so yes this is why I am so thankful for her father to be able to entertain her on the days I really just can't. I pray that she never looks at me and tells me she felt left behind with everything I do on a daily basis for her brother I pray that she understands but I really have learned to spend time with her and make her feel like she is equally as important as her brother. She loves her "buba" when he is down or in pain she runs to try and help him, when he gets out of doctors visits she asks how it went. She is such a caring soul she tells us when she grows up she's going to be a doctor and I hope she does follow that dream because she would be a great one. She first hand was born into a life where she saw someone so close to her have to deal with such a horrible disease and has been so caring and attentive. She loves dressing up and loves make up and loves to sing and dance. Ive been working so hard on my personal career lately that I know she's tired of me saying "I'm doing homework sweetie just one minute" but I know that once this part of my life is done and I have a great career she will grow up and know that mommy busted her behind to be a great role model to her. She will be capable of achieving any goal she wants to meet and become whoever she wants to become because I will be in her corner being her biggest fan. Parents how do you guys multitask with school, work, and a full of life #toddler?!

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