Co-Parenting; S**t's Hard
- M.Soto
- Oct 13, 2020
- 3 min read
Fairytale ending; perfect husband; babies; white picket fence.. Does that exist?! My kids have different dads! Oh no! You judged me on the down low didn't you.. You did didnt you! its okay I judge myself! I have learned that as long as all my choices are for my children this can go smoothly. SIKE! It doesn't always because even if you are ready to be mature about all choices that have to do with your children guess what?! If the other parent isn't where you are than its just a struggle a daily head banging struggle! I like to hear my children out on where they want to be daily and hear their why?!I want to know what makes you more comfortable at mom's house or at dad's house. I always take what they are saying into consideration and discuss with the other parent as to what days I will have them or what days they will have them. I can't say my children's fathers are dead beats because they simply are not they are great dads. I was just not the women for them and they were not the man for me and guess what! That is totally okay to say. The fathers of my #children are my #family. They are men I will deal with for many years, men I will make decisions with, men I will cry with and laugh with as we both watch our kids grow. I can't say I have it down because we still have our days don't we all but I can say that I try my hardest to make sure my children know they are loved, they are not being forced to be in one household and they are not held from a parent. I want my children to grow up and never have to seek to find another parent they never built a relationship with because I was a bitter baby momma. Now I know I know every situation is different but for me what works is communicating and respect. This is how I look at it, this is my mindset, I do not leave a situation unless I truly feel that it is it for me. Now I know we aren't all the same but I do not go back to something I decided to leave. I emotionally and romantically left my relationships with the father of my kids which is why I left after I left I knew I had to raise my kids with them but I knew that with no romantic ties I wouldn't ever try and keep my children from their fathers but encourage them to always have a relationship with them. I talk to the children of my father daily, I text them daily, my sons father his spouse and their son joined myself our son and my daughter on my sons make-a-wish trip , and I do holiday activities with them involved. Are you going to ask me well what does Edwin think?! Does he go too?! Is he cool with them?! Do you get along with the spouse of the kids dads?!
Edwin got into our relationship fully being aware that I had children and that they had fathers. Edwin respects me when it comes to my relationships with them and does not get involved. I inform Edwin of my every whereabout and when it comes to the dads of the kids he knows when I am doing any activities that include them and he can choose to join us or not. Edwin hears my phone conversations with their dads and I tell Edwin about any text conversation I have with them. Edwin doesn't feel the need to have a "Hey there friend" relationship with them and I respect that. He respects them as the fathers of the kids and that's all that matters to me.
My sons father has been with his spouse for I'm going to say like 7 years, they share a awesome little boy together. She respects me as my sons mother and allows me to make all decisions for my child with his father and I respect her as his spouse and never cross my boundaries. On occasions Ill pick up my son from his dads house and also pick up his Jordans brother and take them two and my daughter on adventures. Once again, I repeat! its called co- parenting not I am the baby momma I come before you, No! I am here to raise my son with his father and all my conversations with his father consist of Jordan no need to relieve the past or "what could have been" or "you hurt me" or "I hurt you." People people! loose the romantic ties since you claim you are done and just raise the babies! Its really that simple
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